Girl Scouts of florida tropical

I had a buddy go on a Cav Scout mission. He came back... scarred.

2019.05.14 19:25 NOSjoker21 I had a buddy go on a Cav Scout mission. He came back... scarred.

So I was volunteered for a detail that consists of me spending a day away from work and in the office adjacent to the motorpool, watching the CPN stacks. I'm not one of the unfortunate 92Y or 11Cs out PMCSing the unused-for-three-months gear so behold: a shitpost! And before you ask, yes, boredom leads to my imagination doing absolute absurd nonsense like this.

Monday, March 18th, Unit Motorpool. PFC "Joker's" POV

So no shit. There we were.
Motorpool Monday. A.K.A. "I'd actually rather be doing P.T. than this bullshit" or alternatively, "take a nap in the back of a Humvee because I must uphold the code of shammer."
However, today was quite frigid and our LT, in a rare display of empathy, expedited our Monday PMCS session to only have the mechanics work on the two dead-lined vehicles rather than checking them all.
So I'm sitting in a Humvee just bullshitting on my PS Vita until the battery dies and a colleague of mine enters the other door. My friend - we'll call her SPC "Boone" - is sitting in the driver seat, the passenger front seat is empty, so it's myself and now - we'll call him SPC" Bang" - in the vehicle.
Normally, "Bang" is what we'd call a know-it-all. He constantly lives for debating anything - gun laws, politics, which looney tune politician did what and when, how (insert media here) is overrated - and so on.
So to see him aloof, distant, and clearly concerned about something is peculiar enough to pique my interest.
I'm wary of starting random conversations probing into people's business but there's something distinctly awry about his facial expression to the point that I make the fateful decision to ask a simple question, that would result in me learning entirely too much about the sphincter shenanigans of the United States Army Cavalry Scouts.
"'Bang'... uh, you a'ight brah?"
Bang gives me a hard stare.
"I had the most fucked up weekend of my life..."
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Saturday night, March 16th, SPC "Bang's" POV

So me and my buddy PFC "Cole" were making our plans for the night. After he took his Mustang to the car wash we'd head into town and go bar hopping. I was down to get into some fun because I'd finally be able to show off my new Cav Scout tattoo on my shoulder. Fresh outta annual training and ready to kick ass tonight!
So I'm in the barracks waiting on PFC "Cole" PV2 "Jacobs" to get back and I figure I should shave up before the night begins. A few stray scruffy patches on my face, I can deal with that pretty quickly. So I head to the latrine and there's two other Scouts, they're having a hushed conversation but I overhear a few snippets:
"Are you serious!? The initiation is tonight! We can't afford to not have our best shot because of fucking St. Patrick's Day!"
"I know but-"
"He's not even fucking Irish!"
I was amused by this but not otherwise concerned about it. I finished trimming up my face and was making my way to the trash can, to dispose of the paper towel I used, when Sgt. "Pro" grabbed me by the shoulder.
"Evening, champ. You headed out tonight?"
I paused.
"Well... yeah sarge. AT is over and I figured I'd unwind,"
"I have a task for you."
My heart sank. AT had been nothing but four weeks of snow, bullshit details, hourly FRAGOs, and our fat-body supply sergeant constantly issuing us damaged gear and "forgetting" about the damages when we returned it. Not that I mind helping people... but I'd been looking forward to a night off.
Furthermore, our Pass didn't start until Sunday. So technically, it was still a work day.
Damn it.
"With what, Sarge?"
Sgt. "Pro" was a hard-faced man in his mid thirties, bald with a formidable expression perpetually on his face and piercing blue eyes. He was almost a caricature of the "typical Soldier", however he was competent and fair to a fault, meaning that this wasn't some spur-of-the-moment bullshit.
"I need you to look for this man when you go into town tonight," he said, producing a photo of a man with Salt-and-Pepper hair, a beard and moustache to match, dressed in black business casual clothes. He looked unremarkable in every aspect, perhaps had been retired from service for a few years.
"Okay Sergeant... why though?"
Sgt. "Pro" sighed, and LT "Max" - the soldier he'd been conversing with - spoke up.
"'Bang', you were given an order. Please don't bug us for details, just get it done."
'Max' was... unpleasant usually, to say the least. Used "Army logic" over practical logic in nearly every exercise we did, frequently berated junior enlisted for even the slightest offenses, and had other soldiers carry his gear around while he rode to training in a golf cart. He was a small, thin, clean shaven man with an air of collegiate arrogance about him. Not totally insufferable, but having him as a PL just made things... difficult.
However, I'm only a Specialist, so what the fuck do I know?
"Where can I find him?"
"Try the Twisted Sister, Bahama, and Parisienne," Sgt. 'Pro' says. He's somewhat of a drinker - an old buddy of mine - and we need his help with a pressing matter. However... he's currently unaccounted for and likely in town at a watering hole."
"Please," said LT "Max", with an air of desperation, "find him tonight before drowning yourself in liquor. I'll send a photo of him to your phone to help you track him down, hooah?"
I nod and confirm I'll attempt to find the man, and take my leave while they resume speaking in hushed tones.
Whatever.
So I leave the latrine and head outside to meet "Cole" and "Jacobs" in the parking lot. I don't see them there yet, and I know "Cole" has severe issues being punctual, so I send him a gently worded text to hurry the Hell up. The night is young, mild, and there's not a cloud in the sky. My shoes crunch gravel as I pace around waiting for my ride to show up, when I catch two familiar faces at a table where we play cards. PFC "Joker" - lanky light-skinned black guy that's kinda weird, very introverted, and usually asleep or playing video games - and PVT "Bess" - a skinny country bumpkin who was a Specialist before AT, is now a Private because she... ah, "would prefer not to" unlearn some of the harsh, epithet-laden language she'd been used to growing up in some bum fuck corner of Mississippi. Surprisingly however, in spite of her politically incorrect vernacular, she's quite hospitable to everyone she meets and is the personification of "judge by character, not appearance", even if she's rude as all Hell.
Both "Joker" and "Rex" are signal soldiers attached to our unit, so by and large they don't participate in what both of them refer to as the "Gay shit" that Cav does.
"Hey dickheads," I greet, walking up to them, hoping that "Joker" still has some Bacardi or SoCo left from his stash brought to the field. God bless 'em, but these two could not stay sober.
"Hey don't bring ya gay shit over here," 'Bess' retorts.
"Uh I got SoCo left but it ain' much," 'Joker' says, pouring about half of the remainder of the bottle in a Solo cup before passing it to 'Bess'. "We finna head out once our Lyft gets here."
"No drunk driving tonight?"
"You a dumb sumbitch you try that shit tonight," 'Bess replied', gesturing with a thumb towards the road, where several patrol cars awaited. "Gon be traps all night," she finished, taking a swill of liquor before passing the bottle to me.
I poured myself some liquor and Coca-Cola, relieved to hear 'Cole's' Jeep pull up behind us.
"Where y'all headed?"
"Bar crawl tonight," 'Joker' replied. "Y'all?"
What were the names of those places again?
"Uh... either Parisienne, Bahama, or uh... Twisted Sister?"
'Joker' snorted and 'Bess' laughed comically.
"What? I've never heard of those places, they were just suggested," said plainly.
"Uh," 'Joker' started. "Parisienne is a neat joint. You can't wear any ratchet shit. Usually go there and hook up with some Eastern European chick who's last name I can't pronounce. They'll kick you out if you're weird to women and they don't put up with shit." He paused to take a sip. "Bahama is pretty... rambunctious. You'll see some titties and asses shaking, at least a fight or two. Fun joint and a little more diverse than Parisienne."
Well that helps, I thought. "What about the last place?"
"The sis'? Well uh... what's your opinion on ass rape?"
I looked at 'Bess', perplexed as to why she'd say that. "Come again?"
"Sis is a fag joint - oh no I'm sorry, Queer joint," 'Bess' said, rolling her eyes as she noticed both 'Joker' and I cringing at her language. "All these fuckin' places with some new kinds 'uh Queers, swear they like Pokemon just poppin' up outta nowhere with new editions and shit-"
'Cole' honked his Jeep behind us, and I was thankful to remember the excuse to leave. "Well, y'all uh... have fun tonight," I said, leaving the one-sided tirade as I opened the door to 'Cole's ride.
"Alright fucker, we ready?"
I got comfortable as 'Cole' - a slightly built, stocky suburbanite from somewhere in Florida - and 'Jacobs' - our reserved when sober, wild when drunk, rather flamboyant Filipino gentleman - proceeded to define our plans that evening, going up the 'Murderer's Row' of bars on Schitt's Street (which of course, was called "Shit's Creek").
"Fuck yeah, let's do this!"
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There were several bars by our training area, all of which were stuffed with locals and soldiers and college kids alike.
Parisienne, as 'Joker' said, was a Techno and House club that was filled with skinny European women, college kids of multiple backgrounds, and relatively few locals. As a matter of fact, the only locals were a couple of yokels in a heated debate about non-whites taking 'their' women.
As 'Joker' also said, the club was quite... bougie. Paying $20 to get in and then paying $10 per drink was not my cup of tea. So we departed the cyan-and-black aesthetic and went on to Bahama.
Now, whereas Parisienne was rather uppity, Bahama had a more "tropical" aesthetic, no cover, and most of their drinks were under $10. There were more locals and collegers here than in the Euro joint, but like Parisienne, the stranger that Sgt. 'Pro' indicated was not here either.
After five or so drinks and a couple of 'dances' - I've never been sure how a girl rubbing her ass on you while you lean on a wall is called 'dancing - we departed the Bahama, much to 'Cole's' chagrin, and headed down the street to some Irish joint.
With two out of three locations confirmed to not have this guy, I was somewhat worried that maybe... I was caught in some fuck-fuck game that those two were playing?
I slowed down my alcohol intake from there, while 'Jacobs' drowned himself in shots and 'Cole' showed typical amounts of soldier's regard for his liver.
I checked my phone, and apparently Twisted Sister, the last bar, was a notoriously raunchy locale that catered to the LBGTQ crowd.
Why was my Squad Leader tasking me out to find some old queen on a Saturday night?
<> <> <>
So an hour later, we entered the part of Schitt's street that had more venues catering to the gay crowd. Among them was Twisted Sister, a bar that had a garish neon reveler on a sign with barely any clothing. We entered the threshold behind 'Jacobs', who drunkenly swore he'd make sure 'Cole' and I would be okay, and we entered a lobby that was not unlike a strip club: scantily clad men and women danced upon tables with poles, several disco balls glittered with hues of sea green and magenta, people were making out and touching each other inappropriately on couches, and several of the tables that had drunken revelers seated around them also had people under them, clearly servicing the people seated.
Charming place.
What was more surprising than the amount of sodomy going on (one of the bartenders was clearly plowing what was either a girl or a drag queen behind the bar), was the fact that as soon as 'Jacobs' bought our first drinks at the bar, I saw the gentleman Sgt. 'Pro' had asked me to find. He was sitting at a table in a V.I.P. section on the other side of the establishment, with two other large, formidable looking men on either side of him. They were far removed from the shenanigans below, quietly having a conversation and occasionally sipping from drinks.
I pulled out my phone and texted Sgt. 'Pro' that I'd found his mark at Twisted Sister, and he soon responded:
"As expected. Please inform him that his presence is needed immediately for the Choosing. He will not respond to my texts or calls."
Choosing? What the Hell was he on about?
I left an extremely uncomfortable-looking 'Cole' and a very relaxed, talkative 'Jacobs' at the bar to make my way over to the far table.
As I approach, I catch a snippet of their conversation barely audible over whatever Ariana Grande song is currently blasting.
"If we don't return, we'll lose by default-"
"There's no way we win without you-"
"I told you, I'm tired of participating in this nonsense, there's no reason why the newer soldiers can't change the culture-"
"New soldiers never change the culture, it's always some old fucks who-"
They noticed me, and abruptly ended their conversation, regarding me silently.
It was at this point I realized I did not know the stranger's name.
"Hello sir, I was sent by-"
"Sergeant 'Pro'? Figures."
Great. A psychic!
"He claims that you need to attend the Choosing," I began.
"And he's right," the muscular black man to the Stranger's right said, "we can change the Cav Scout culture tonight if you'd just take your head out of your ass-"
"Our Stetsons and revolvers are a laughing stock and our... 'activities' are an open secret," said the equally muscular Latino man to his left.
This argument went on for another minute or so before the stranger raised a hand to stop them, finally addressing me.
"Listen son... what do you think about the Cav Scouts?"
"I mean... cool training... a douche-bag LT... a lot of gay innuendo..."
"I understand, son," he said, taking another shot of whiskey, "but I'm asking you, what do you think the Cav Scout culture is?"
I blurted out the answer automatically, not even knowing how or why I chose the words I spoke.
"Gay shit."
The two men laughed in a manner that was more "fuck my life" than "that was genuinely funny".
"Now, taking that thoughtful answer into account, how would you change the culture?"
I took a brief moment to not blurt out the first thing that came to mind, and:
"We should more decisive," I began. "Too many FRAGOs, not enough solid, linear planning. There's too many mistakes and lack of attention paid to task, and there's too much," I paused, wanting to relay this correctly:
There was a lot of inappropriate contact between soldiers during AT. So much so, that it definitely interfered with morale and unit tasks. As a matter of fact, I could swear that one day, we did nothing entirely because several NCOs and a few Officers had brought a few of the more flamboyant junior enlisted to a "Private Counseling Session" to a reserved location outside of the training area.
Rumors abounded what happened, and the more I thought about it, the more the ghastly rumors about what happened to new Privates in the Cav Scouts appeared to be true. So,
"I want all the ass-grabbing and fuckery to stop," I said. "We should be as competent as any other unit in the Army, not a bunch of disrespected incompetent idiots who constantly make a concerning amount of gay jokes," I finished.
The three looked at me, seemingly satisfied wtih my answer. After a few moments of deliberation, the stranger stood up and put on what appeared to be a... fedora?
"It appears there's hope for us after all, son," the stranger began. "You're only an initiate, but you'll come with us to the Choosing. Let's go."
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'Jacobs', 'Cole', and I were now in Latino man's - we'll call him 'MSG Garza' - Jeep, driving not to our FOB, but to the Cav Scout Brigade FOB a couple miles into the desert. The trip started quietly at first, until I and my big mouth posed the following question:
"What did you mean by culture of Cav Scouts, sir? And what is the Choosing?"
Silence, before the black man - we'll call him SFC 'Avery' - spoke.
"Every year, the higher echelons of the Cav Scouts choose the culture," he began. "Normally, this was balanced between the Tops, the Verses, and the Bottoms, however-"
"Wait," 'Cole' said, "aren't those gay terms?"
"Yes," Avery confirmed, as 'Jacobs' began laughing at 'Cole's' horrified expression. "The Cav Scouts have, and have always had the highest ratio of gay soldiers in the Army."
Silence, before he continued.
"As I said, the culture was always balanced... none of the three positions ever had winning streaks, so to speak, but for the last ten years, the bottoms," and I noticed the disapproval with which he said the term, "have been the masters of our culture."
"They took us from a competent, complete part of the Army to an ass-grabbing display of ineptitude," 'Garza' began. "Us tops kept us manly: yes, very gay, but outdoorsy. Rugged. Confident. The Verses were a happy medium - more shooting-the-shit and and a casual attitude, but by no means uninterested in accomplishing our goals."
"The bottoms," 'Avery' sneered, "have won the Choosing for the last twelve years, and every time since, they've infested us with laziness, hedonism, and a lack of respect for the mission," he said tersely. "When they only won every few years or so, we took their victory as a lax year, or perhaps rec time," he explained. "But now... it's been over a decade. The constant cock-stroking, lack of leadership, and more concern over fucking these new boys instead of turning them into men... we can't survive as a unit if these delusional loose-holed idiots keep fucking it up!"
'Avery' sighed after the outburst. "The Choosing takes place again tonight, and we will not survive another victory by the bottoms."
I remained silent. 'Cole' looked disgusted. 'Jacobs' was laughing hysterically.
"So uh," he said, catching his breath from laughing, "what exactly kind of contest is the Choosing?"
"Sex," said 'Garza'. "Gay sex, obviously. Whoever is the first to climax, loses, and the winner's faction resumes control of the Cav Scout's culture."
Now I, too, was laughing hysterically.
"You may think it's funny now," Garza elaborated, as we pulled up to an abandoned shack, "but you'll see for yourselves soon."
Still wheezing from laughter, I hopped out next to an easily amused 'Jacobs' and surveyed the area. It was an otherwise unremarkable gravel lot, with several cars parked in it, an equally unremarkable shack with no military address on it, and a single red door.
The others finished disembarking and we proceeded to the door, 'Garza' giving a stressed sigh before he produced a key. He turned the lock, and the door opened to a very old looking elevator.
"What the Hell?"
"Quiet, Specialist."
The six of us entered the old lift and 'Garza' pressed a button. We descended slowly in silence for at least five minutes before we began to hear... pop music?
We stepped from the elevator to face a glitter-covered door behind which was clearly the sounds of a Nightclub, and the door opened to the most incredulous sight of my short Army Career:
RuPaul's "Supermodel" was blaring from speakers in a room that was lit up with pink and violet lights, with soldiers in various states of intoxication loudly celebrating, drinking, embracing, dancing... and fornicating.
Tearing my eyes away from two male soldiers being cheered on by two lesbians and four flamboyant men, I noticed every reveler in the room wearing either ass-less BDU overalls, just leather chaps, or booty shorts with Grunt Style tank tops...
All of them, however, shared two pieces of equipment: Stetsons, and boots.
All of them were Cav Scouts.
I froze, realizing that my unit isn't just gay, it's Gay as HELL.
'Cole' shared my expression of confused shock, whereas 'Jacobs' set his coat by the door and bounced off with a CW5 and a MSG from a different unit, telling us "Be right back, fellas!"
Garza gave both of us a hard look.
"Still think this is funny?"
Edit: This is stickied? LMAO I'll finish it tomorrow then.
submitted by NOSjoker21 to Amry [link] [comments]


2013.11.07 14:54 tabledresser [Table] IAMA wildlife filmmaker. My videos have been featured on Nickelodeon and Discovery, and I spent most of the last ten years traveling around filming wildlife. AMA!

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Date: 2013-11-07
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
The males are so horny (and the females in such short supply) that they'll basically try to fuck anything certain times of year, including Stephen Fry! The only problem is that it's so low pitched, the females (who only lay about one egg every two years at best) have trouble telling which way it's coming from, and may even run in the wrong direction!
There's some more funny facts about Kakapo mating if you're into it! The coolest thing about Kakapos is that they may have the world's absolutely least effective mating call.
Ok, I just subscribe to your YouTube channel just based on all of the awesome nature facts and anecdotes you've been saying on here. Good luck on finding more awesome and telling us all about it! Sweet!!!
What's the longest time you've had to wait for the wildlife you want to film to turn up? Sometimes it doesn't at all!
When I was 16, I decided I wanted to find the Ivory Billed Woodpecker. There's a really good book, Ivorybill Hunters, written by an ornithologist at Auburn that convinced me they were still extant in a remote swamp in the Florida Panhandle.
I went out and spent weeks in the swamp, and, though I heard some distinctive sounds, and found what are most likely nest cavities made by ivorybills, I never found the bird.
I'm now leaning towards thinking it's extinct in the region, despite the contrary evidence, because of something interesting I noticed when I tried to film inside the nest cavities.
Behind the openings (which were too large to have been made by anything else really), the trees were hollow!
That would never do for a woodpecker nest, so here's my theory: The trees are cypresses, and they're ANCIENT. Upwards to a thousand years old. I think the birds carved out those holes before they were hollow, maybe centuries ago, and this small footprint on nature still lives on in their absence today.
What are your top 3 places that you really enjoyed? Easy.
Everglades National Park, for its sheer size and quantity of wildlife,
Peneda-Geres National Park in Portugal, because it's a beautiful, rugged landscape lined with streams and dry riverbeds to explore,
And Seahorse Key in the Nature Coast region of Florida, a little known island that holds the honor of being inhabited by the world's biggest, most docile, and most densely populated water moccasins (due to a special relationship with the migratory wading birds that nest there!).
Gonna be honest…water moccasins don't sound that enjoyable…maybe its just me. Haha you don't know how cool they are!
When the wading birds nest on the island, they often accidentally drop fish intended for their chicks out of the nest. The water moccasins can't climb to eat the chicks, so they sit at the bottom of the tree and wait for the fish to drop down!
By sitting at the base of the tree, they deter predators that can climb, like raccoons, and get a free meal out of it!
I live in Florida and never get a chance to go to your two favorite places. Time to make time for them. Thanks! Yep!
Make sure to plan on an open house day if you go to seahorse, and check out the beach/seagrass bed area behind the island!
I was fishing once last year at a small pond and right at the edge i saw what i believed to be a cotton mouth eating another snake (possibly another cotton mouth, they looked the same). It was very trippy looking because i couldn't tell where one snake began and the other ended. They were flopping around and stuff and it was just really trippy. Is this common behavior with moccasins? I'd love to get a video of that!
Cottonmouths (and similar looking Banded Water Snakes) are known to be ophiophagious if the opportunity presents itself, but their preferred food source isn't other snakes.
The specific epithet (species name) for cottonmouths, piscivorus, actually translates to "fish-eater" in English.
Interesting sidenote-- cottonmouths are pretty broad generalists, especially for snakes. They'll go for fish, frogs, small birds, other snakes, you name it.
I know people who have even seen them eat animals that they found already dead and half decomposed on the ground!
Tl;dr Normal- yes. Especially common- not so much.
Nigel? One day!
Just because you're well liked by the public doesn't mean you're good at your job or liked by your bosses. I guess so. Though it'd be hard to be a better show host than Nigel!
Would you consider going out with unidan and filming a nature documentary where she narrates? I would absolutely love to film a documentary with unidan!
Who was your first prom date? This horrible girl I was set up with because her friends wanted to get her in even though she was a tenth grader. She left me just as we walked in.
I wound up dancing awkwardly with this other girl, who turned out to be my friend's now-ex girlfriend, as she dumped him in the lobby.
So I guess two horrible girls!
Have you ever filmed in New Zealand, or do you hope/plan to? Oh man, can you get me a ticket?
I'd definitely love to check out Middle Earth, and all its crazy birds.
Particularly the kakapo, an adorably helpless flightless parrot!
The males are so horny (and the females in such short supply) that they'll basically try to fuck anything certain times of year, including Stephen Fry!
There's some more funny facts about Kakapo mating if you're into it!
Edit: Hmm, he seems to have gone for Mark Carwardine in that video. Stephen Fry was his second choice in the group, I'm sure.
I live in Dunedin, New Zealand and study science communication. You can do a masters in documentary film making - one of my classmates is working on a doco about Sirocco the kakapo which you might like. Have your classmate PM me if he wants to collaborate on a video sometime, I've got a lot of cool stuff from the Southeast US!
I noticed on Discover's "Life" series that they have some SICK time-lapse shots of plants and trees growing. I mean this is much different than the usual 8 hour sunrise time lapse that we see pretty frequently. What does this month to month lapse entail? Is it as simple as it sounds, plant a camera and let it sit? Battery life? Interference from wildlife? Or is it all fake?? HELP!!! The way they made them was to go to a natural area (where the logs the plants were "growing on" were), take a film without vines on the substrate, and take exact measurements of the logs etc.
Then they recreated the logs and stuff exactly in a controlled environment with trellises and supports that act as a green screen, and grew plants on them while filming and making that months-long panning shot.
Then they put the two videos together. Probably one of the most impressive feats of nature videography so far.
No I have slides and slides of marine life from polychaetes to tuna but no video footage. Sorry. Actually a picture is fine too, if you want to send it.
No pressure if you don't though.
Zookeeper here. Just a few questions. (1) what's the rarest animal you have ever captured on film? (2) Have you ever gotten really close to a large (dangerous) animal? (3) Ever done any filming under water? Would you want to? (4) I your opinion, what books and documentaries have the best photos and film? 1) Rarest is probably the Red Cockaded Woodpecker Sorry for the poor quality on that one, I made it a while back!
2) I got really stupidly close to this alligator once, and he told me off
3) Yeah! Mostly in rivers. My best shot ever is this underwater manatee shot that got on Discovery last June
4)The best nature documentary I've ever seen is the Life series. One caveate: find the Attenborough version, not the Oprah one!
The best nature book is harder to say, as far as pictures it's hard to beat the DK book Animal
In terms of a great story I'd recommend last Chance to See by Douglas Adams and Nafanua: Saving the Samoan Rainforest by Paul Cox, or Life in the Valley of Death by Alan Rabinowitz.
I assume you're not doing this alone. If that is the case, how would I get involved in something like this? Do you just travel around with close friends, colleagues, or what? Well, I'm still not a professional, so right now my aim is to gain enough experience that I can make a real, good TV show when the opportunity arises.
I travel and film with my family and friends, whoever I can drag along.
If you wanna make wildlife videos, YouTube is a great stepping stone. It lets you practice and improve all the way up to professional grade skills, and even gets you some level of recognition on the way.
Also, if you already have a clip or two of animals/nature in your area, I'd love to include it in a collaboration video I'm working on!
How much of the time are you lonley and/or bored? -OR- are the animals, the freedom and the end result entirely fulfilling? Well, I usually have other people with me while I'm going, so never really lonely.
I did take a trip this summer on my own down the Suwannee, but I ran into so many friendly people on the way that I wasn't truly alone.
The solitude is nice anyway.
Oh man, the boredom. It's not bad when I'm out in nature, but in the trip to get there can be SO monotonous!
Totally worth it in the end, though. :)
You went down the Suwannee without me this year? I hope you got better footage than during the hurricane two years back! Welp, just this (I went a little crazy with extra channels for a while this summer)
And then when I was guiding a kids' group down the next week we got hit by a tropical storm! My boss didn't even bother to check the weather report and I had to figure out a new stopping point for everyone until it passed!
As someone really interested in the wildlife industry, particularly working behind the scenes of nature programmes, any tips? Also how much time do you spend travelling? Many thanks for this AMA Well, I'm not really a pro yet, but the strategy I'm using is to become so is to learn about ecology (in college for Wildlife Ecology), learn how to make a good film (through my show), and to make connections whenever possible (I may do some internships, these'll help me gain more experience and meet people).
What animals are the biggest assholes? Monkeys man. Monkeys and in America raccoons.
A raccoon just hid under my porch. I think he also dented my car without leaving a note. Probably double parked too.
How did you get started/employed? I too watched Corwin and Erwin all of my childhood and have always dreamed of being a wildlife cameraman/photographer. What are tips for someone looking to break into this profession? Will you please accept me as a pupil and train me in your ways? Oh man, let me know when you find out!
Filmmaking is more of a lifestyle for me right now, I get paid very little.
I'm hoping that by racking up video experience through my YouTube channel and getting a degree in wildlife ecology/film I'll be able to do it for real money when I get out.
One thing I've been told after asking this exact question to producers and other filmmakers is that it's very important to make connections. Connections to filmmakers, connections to nature preserves and scientists, connections to just about everyone even tangentially related to the field.
Apparently that's where the real opportunities are.
PS nice username ottersocks!
I am a marine science major in Perth, Australia and i am keenly interested in getting into the nature film scene/industry. do you have any advice or wisdom to impart to myself and like minded others seeking to get into the industry? or any resources that you found helpful in your progress? Question 2: what would be some of the best/difficult/challenging filming techniques you have used? Question 2: The most challenging film technique I've used is a pole camera that goes up ~30 ft to look inside nest cavities of woodpeckers. Any little movement down at my end causes a huge swing at the top with the camera, and I often have to use this from a boat!
I have a company which makes cinematic wedding films, and I freelance as a DP for music videos, corporate videos and music/life doc stuff! I'm in Toronto area, whereabouts are you? I'm down in Florida.
I'll hit you up if I'm in the area filming sometime!
Also, if you happen to have a nature/wildlife clip laying around, I'm making a collaboration video and would like to include it!
Do you come here often? :) To Reddit?
Way more often than is probably healthy (like everyone else here)!
What was the shot/moment you were most proud of? Hmm, that's a tough one.
I guess I'd have to say this one's my best, just an incredibly lucky day I happened to bring the camera and wound of finding a family of manatees!
Also, a bit older and lower quality, but I've done quite a bit of filming underground in gopher tortoise holes with a special camera I made!
What's the craziest thing to ever happen to you while filming? Hmm, well there are two, actually.
Two times I've sat too close to a bird (once an anhinga and once a cormorant), and they've struck at my eye!
Then the other semi crazy thing that's happened is when I was trying to film this alligator sunning itself, and it started feeling a little threatened! It hissed, then went in the water and splashed us for inadvertently cornering it!
1) Whenever something bad happens with an animal, it's your fault (usually from getting too close!).
2) In the alligator video specifically, I'm slightly misleading about the ankles. While it is helpful that they can get their ankles out of the way when lunging, it's more of an adaptation for walking and streamlining their bodies in the water (I need to redo the narrate to make that more clear).
:)
Is that Chrystal River in Florida? If so i dive that river ever so often when the manatee's are coming through. I love it, so clear. It's actually the Itchetucknee River, but I've been to Crystal River too and that area's very nice.
Have you ever had a dangerous encounter with an predatory animal, like an alligator? Hmm, I volunteered in a rescue facility that had rather low safety standards, and nearly got attacked by a tiger once!
Here's my closest call with an alligator, it's important to note that any danger was my fault for getting too close
What kind of equipment do you use? I currently mostly make videos just for my Youtube (which is where they occasionally get picked up by TV networks), so nothing huge right now, just a Gopro, a VPC WH1, and the camera on my DROID (which can shoot as high quality as Youtube will accept right now, anyway!).
How much ya bench? I don't even lift, bro.
How do I become you? 1) Find Animals.
2) Film Animals.
3) ???
4) Profit Hopefully start getting paid for what you do after college (I'm at Step #3 right now)
Ever been to Costa Rica? Not yet. I'm planning on going there in the next few years though!
I'm really looking forward to seeing all the frogs they have down there!
What got you interested in wildlife filmmaking? I'm super jealous. I've actually always wanted to from a young age, mostly from watching Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin on TV and having encouraging parents!
How do you feel about bison? Do you ever try to attract wildlife to your own home for observation purposes? I like bison!
There's a small herd in the nature preserve (Payne's Prairie) next to my university!
Back home we keep big parts of our yard wild, mostly through neglect, really, and I find a lot of wildlife there.
Also, for snakes, I have several pieces of tin layed out in the backyard.
If you get a chance definitely try to get a look at a resplendent quetzal too! Oh man, the birds you guys've got are amazing!
So many cool colorations and behaviors!
Any techniques you have to ensure that you do not frighten or otherwise disturb the wildlife, or techniques to get the best footage? Well, a lot of the time I actually catch the wildlife, but when I don't do that the secret is to find a comfortable spot where you think the animals will move towards and sit perfectly still.
I start filming before I get in position too, so I don't even have to make any motion or sound other than changing where it's pointing.
Where did you most enjoy filming? And what did you film while there? I most enjoy filming in the Choctawhatchee Swamp, and I've filmed giant trees, snakes, and various other reptiles while there.
Have you ever had the chance to pet a penguin? If so how did it feel? Not yet but maybe one day!
How do I get your job? I consider myself a filmmaker because I make a lot of documentaries, but I'm still in college and don't get paid yet (other than Youtube ad revenue).
So, I can't help much with this one.
The thing I've been told is to gain as much experience as possible (through filming on your own or with a job/internship in a local production company) and to gain as many connections within the industry as you can (which the job can help with).
The other thing I'm doing is going to college to become an expert in what I'd like to make TV documentaries about, in my case Wildlife Ecology.
Hey, thanks for doing this AMA! I'm a student in my last year of university studying Film & Tv, I would love to be a wildlife documentary maker one day; do you have any advice for someone trying to get into the wildlife side of the industry? Hey!
I'm actually almost in the same place as you; I make a lot of documentaries but I'm still in college and on the outside of the industry right now.
I've been told by basically everyone I've asked who's in the industry that it's all about connections, so any chance you get to work with a wildlife program/something even tangentially connected to nature documentaries can help you break in.
Sorry I don't have a better answer yet!
Question: What is one thing you've seen in nature that truly shocked you? Hmm, I've never really been shocked by anything I've seen in nature, per se, but I was really surprised a few months ago when I found a crab spider crawling over the wings of an uninjured butterfly, spinning a web as it went and slowly snaring it!
Sorry if this has been asked before but what camera(s) do you use? It hasn't!
I don't use as nice cameras as I'd like, yet, as I don't get paid, yet, but I currently use a GoPro H2, VPC WH1 (though not often because it has low quality), any DSLR I can get my hands on from the local production company that'll let me borrow them, and the camera on my Droid.
Right now I mostly make documentaries for Youtube, so this suite of cameras meets most of my needs.
Hello! Thanks for the AMA! I am currently a film student and I am curious as to what equipment you use and what have you found particularly useful when filming wildlife? I'm really low budget right now, so I'm limited to a Gopro H2, VPC WH1, and my Droid's camera.
I also modified a baby monitor so that it can go into nest cavities in trees and transmit the video to ground level.
Do you have any recommendations that're cheapish and would give me a wider range of options for filming?
Also, is that true that so called "wildlife documentary" are most of the time a "scene" where we bring for exemple goat in the same area than its predators. I mean that circumstances are cheated for the show ? Hmm, people have done that before, but it's pretty frowned upon (this guy got quite a bit of fallout over it).
I'm not into that kind of thing, my goal is to bring people nature, so I'm never gonna try to stage any shots, that's cheating!
Just graduated with a focus in wildlife ecology and sold out accepting a job at an environmental remediation corporation working as a consultant for shell... Got any room for one more? I have a trailcam to offer! Oh man, I'm still in college for Wildlife Ecology, trying to rack up some experience with these videos so that I can get paid for it when I get out.
Sidenote-- Got any cool pics or vids with your trailcam? I'm trying to make a collaboration video with Reddit and that'd go great!
What's the most danger you've ever been in whilst filming an animal? Your job is awesome by the way, I'm totally jealous. Whilst filming an animal, probably this though the danger was not really that great there.
If you're careful and don't get too close there's really very little danger in what I do.
Gotta fox, raccoon, opossum, and video of deer. All nightvision. Sweet!
I could totally use those shots in the video, if you'd be kind enough to send them to me in the manner of your choosing! :)
What's the most dangerous animal you've been in the presence of? Mosquitoes!
Really, everything else you can follow some rules and be fine (mostly just give it space!).
Mosquitoes in the area of Florida I spend most of my time carry West Nile and there's no repelling 'em!
How do I get your job? Hey, I've answered this one a couple times, so is it ok to link to another comment?
I hope so :\)
Have you ever intervened in a life and death situation? No, and unless it was a significantly endangered species, I never would.
Basically did you give a starving lion cub a steak or something similar... I really love the animals I film, but it's important not to intervene as one animal's misfortune makes another's breakfast.
As an aspiring filmmaker, I'd love to shoot some wildlife. I'm from Michigan, you coming here anytime soon to film? Redditors gotta stick together. No plans to go to Michigan soon, but if you've got any clips of the animals, plants, or weather up there I'd love to use it in an upcoming collaboration video I'm making!
I honestly think that's a fair price to pay for what you do. Me too.
Always wondered: how much of the sound effects you hear in nature programs (animals eating, or bubbling underwater) are real, and how much are put in post-production? In mine, they're usually from the same day/place, but I take a desperate shot just for the sound and later overlay it on the video.
*seperate hahaha autocorrect.
Is there a way I can work with you ? PM me!
Editing rushs, Filming wildlife ... Also, if you've got a video of wildlife native to your area, send it to me and I'll include it in a global collaboration I'm doing!
I don't think I've got any wildlife footage, but I've got a TON of footage of different kayaking trips I've gone on, both in Michigan and middle-of-nowhere Canada... Would that be something you'd be interested in? Yeah! Give me like 30 seconds of anything nature-y!
Sure, feel free to use them in your video. And if you're planning to see the great barrier reef, probably best to do it soon; with global warming and the current government's view of environmental protection, there probably won't be much left in 10 years. :(
I know.
Hopefully the private sector'll pull us out, but I dunno. It's such a terrible loss.
Oh man, I thought you were talking about ocean acidification.
What equipment do you use? Right now, as all my stuff's for YouTube, I use a go pro h2, vpc wh1, and my droid's camera.
What type of vacuum do you take with you during your travels? I feel like this is some kind of zen riddle.
Who's the really cool guy that at the end of one of your video says "Hello Ladies"? He seems like the coolest person ever to step foot on this earth. Pssh, distant second.
One question only...Can you take me with you on your next trip? Come on!
Im serious! like dead serious!! What state do you live in (PM me)?
Is this a thing? I would love to experience this! Especially since I am wanting to become an independent filmmaker. I also love wildlife! I want to come, too! Well, if you're in Florida there's a chance you can come with sometime.
Otherwise, I'd love it if you sent me a shot of any wildlife native to your area for a global collaboration video I'm working on!
When i went there i saw it twice in the same week by just following Japanese tourists when they sounded excited. Hahaha that's a technique I'll have to try.
You didn't happen to get any cool videos while you were down there did you?
Favorite animal to film. Definitely manatees.
Most animals, it's a struggle to keep them from running away.
Manatees, you have to keep backing up to keep the frame from becoming just a grey square of close up manatee skin; they usually try to scratch themselves on my camera or ask for belly rubs!
It's like a friendly truck!
Ok. Alright!
I read most of this stuff was staged... Well, mine isn't anyway!
A couple of people have been caught staging shots for their shows, but it's pretty frowned upon.
Right now, as all my stuff's for YouTube, I use a go pro h2, vpc wh1, and my droid's camera. To film in nest cavities I've used a modified baby monitor on a pole that transmits its ir image down to a screen on the ground.
Dude I used to watch and comment on your videos all the time. Teen Wilderness. Awesome stuff bro. Sweet!
What are the odds?
Edit: Wait, WHY DID YOU STOP WATCHING!?! I STILL MAKE THEM!
I don't even lift, bro. BUT, a cool animal that does is the Hero Shrew, a tiny rodent from Central Africa that has a spine strong enough to withstand the weight of a full grow human!
Whaaa... I'm still trying to make it into a job Right now I'm in college for Wildlife Ecology, probably gonna dual major in Film. Edit: I say I'm already a filmmaker, though I don't get paid much yet, because I basically spend most of my time filming or scouting out new spots to film. Hopefully it'll transition from a lifestyle to a career when I get out
I want your job.
Last updated: 2013-11-11 13:13 UTC
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